Arizona Social Services ID, 1982
|
California Driver's License, 1998
|
These photos speak 1000 words.
In 1982 I was stoned 24/7, unemployed and collecting food stamps. By 1998
I was clean and sober and employed at the same job for over nine years. Until I began my journey to womanhood, my only "happiness" came from drugs and alcohol. Had I not embraced my transsexualism I would have died before the 1980's were over. Here's how I did it. |
I originally started my transition in July on 1985, and I did it all wrong. I had the wrong therapist, took female hormones behind her back, didn't get labwork done while on hormones (a health risk), went to an unskilled electrolysis, had no plan, had nothing to fall back on, had no positive role models, and I took drugs to kill the fear and pain of my daily existence. I made all of these wrong choices, to the extent that they were choices, in the desperation that since I'd wasted so much of my life trying to be a man, I had to do it all right away. I finally gave up fifteen months later. Then I descended into heroin, etc. etc. . . .
The second time I did it all properly. I saw an experienced gender therapist, a licensed endocrinologist, had labs done, went to a skilled electrologist, had a plan, had a career; and I had one role model, another TS woman who was also in recovery like I finally was. I had support groups, both transsexual and recovery, and I knew that I could succeed because this was the path meant for me.
My Transition Timeline: 1978-2005
|
Both times in early transition I was afraid that I would never pass. I was convined there weren't female hormones strong enough for a "hopeless" case like me. Between my fears and low self esteem, I had no faith and certainly no patience. I despaired I would never look like a "real" woman. How grateful I was to be proven wrong within a few years. Liver problems neccistated my orchiectomy (castration) in May of '91. With testosterone essentially gone from my body, I went to a low estrogen dose and finally tapered off to nothing. Within a year the changes in my appearance were noticeable. These photos show my fourteen years of changes, especially in my face, from the longterm effects of hormones. |
|
This section is not just about surgery, but also about the other physical and medical aspects of my transition. These include sex hormone therapy, electrolysis, breast augementation, facial surgery, orchiectomy (castration), and sex reassignment surgery. Most of the photos are pretty tame, but there are several graphic and explicit ones. Therefore, if you are are a minor, are easily offended, or live in a jurisdiction that loosely defines "obscenity" to cover even educational depictions of medical transition, please proceed no further. The purpose of these photos is to educate, not to titillate. |
|
I am not big on journaling. The only times in my life when I made regular diary entries were those pivotal, life-changing periods: the months preceding my divorce, the month in rehab preceding my transition and when I had my sex reassignment surgery. I picked this book back up two days before I flew up to Portland, and I began to record the most exciting and gratifying experience of my life. These entries have been mercifully edited down to maximize reader enjoyment and minimize yawning. |